For those who don’t want to be here…

"I'm not coming back to Earth!"

"This better be my last life!"

I hear these kinds of statements a lot from spiritually-oriented people. I know from my own work and journey that many of our souls have spent lifetimes in faraway galaxies, star systems, and dimensions where we remember the magic and freedom afforded to us.

I also understand because I used to feel this way too.

I used to wonder why anyone would choose to come to this seemingly insane and backwards planet to experience and feel all this... stuff.

For years, I shoveled through seeming pounds of inner struggle and existential pain, only to face an inner existential terror and death over and over again... until one day, by what I can only describe as grace, I eventually came out the other side feeling a deep and lasting inner freedom.

I'll never forget the day after I finally moved through all that inner pain (and what a reluctant student I was!!). I was sitting on a mountain in Utah, looking out at the vast expansiveness of the Earth. I remember, for the first time in my life, feeling truly and utterly grateful to be alive. I cried tears of gratitude for finally feeling this true experience of love on Earth and in this human body. I realized in that moment I had never actually felt this gratitude fully, not authentically anyway. I had been too distracted feeling how heavy everything was. But now I was free, and I knew I was going to help other people feel this authentic freedom too.

Of course, life still has its struggles, but I never felt that inner torturous feeling of existential pain and heaviness ever again.

And I'm not special; I believe we all have that freedom available to us. Most of us haven't been shown how to be human in a way that doesn't carry this burden of wounding and pain.

That's why I do the work that I do. I deeply desire for everyone to feel the freedom, expansion, and embodied truth that is possible for them because it is. I have lived it, and I wouldn't have thought it possible without the incredible support I had, and of course, that unexplainable mystical force of the universe.

Something I've learned is that we can't solve problems at the level they are created, and this applies to the human struggle too. We can't puzzle through it, think our way out of it, or even just decide it's not for us to feel. It takes being deeply present, showing up again and again, the wisdom to follow the breadcrumbs, trust the process, and be gently held and guided into a bigger consciousness.

Having someone else hold that space of possibility can make all the difference. I know for a fact I could not have done it without the mentors I had who were able to see what lay beyond all of that suffering for me.

So, I no longer feel that "don't want to come back here" or that “I hope this is my last life,” or have any desire to leave.

From this bigger viewpoint, I really do find that this human thing is truly is the best show in town, and we all came here for very specific purposes and with good reason. That beyond the pain is also love. That under the worst of humanities actions are hearts desiring to be whole again. That everything we go through is pushing us to grow and expand into our authentic wholeness.

The unique blend of love, creativity, energy, and light that we are able to play with here is unparalleled.

Yes, it's often been constricted and challenging thus far. I believe we're at a turning point in humanity, leaving this smaller level of viewing this world behind and opening to something so much bigger and so much freer interanally.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm a part of that, and if you’re reading this, you most likely are too. It's the only mission I've ever been completely and fully aware of. My presence here on this planet, and my viewpoint of this journey, is here to help others free themselves and experience life in a whole new way—with a lot more expansion and a lot more magic.

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PREPARING FOR A CACAO CEREMONY

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My Favorite Ceremonial Cacao Recipe